I'm sitting in my bedroom as I type this. All is blessed peace...no TV, no radio, no one else home. My window is open to the late afternoon spring, fresh air floating in. I cherish times of solitude like this. I make time for them, jealously guarding them. It's crucial for my well-being, to regather my life, mySELF.

The Queen Mum is dead. Long live the Queen...

A quote from a Billy Wilder admirer, upon his passing; from BBC:

Wilder gone. Lennon Gone. Kubrick gone. Milligan gone. Ron Howard and Russell Crowe still here! There is no justice.

Walter Sheldrake, England

I have to admit, even though I like Russell Crowe (what woman in their right mind wouldn't like Crowe...it's a tossup between his roles in L.A. Confidential and Gladiatior as to which one I'd rather...!), that made me chuckle in agreement...

Dudley Moore died yesterday from Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. It is a progressive degenerative brain disorder which, at present, has no treatment or cure.

Dudley was one of those performers that had so many layers to them that few knew them all. He had his music fans, his comedy fans, his movie fans. Then there were the lucky few who were blessed by all of his talents.

In honor of Good Friday, I offer this wee bit of Irish humour:

Right, so Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. And the very first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the main man before, and he's obviously a bit curious as to what he might look like, and whether or not he himself looks like his mum's side of his family or his dad's, etc. And he looks high and low but he just can't find him.
So he goes over to St. Peter and asks: "Where's my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't have a clue.
He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where's my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.
He asks John the Baptist "Where's my father?" But John hasn't a notion either. So he wanders around Heaven, impatiently searching.
Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. This man is very, very old. He has white hair, and is stooping a bit. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"
"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is dead curious. Could this be his father at last? So he asks: "Tell me of your son, old man."
"Oh, you'd know him if you saw him. Holes in his hands where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know, the wood, and..."
"Father!!!!!" screams Jesus.
"Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.

Christopher (my boyfriend) and I have a LAT relationship:

Living Apart Together - Separate apartments or homes close to each other, with private time and space a priority within a long-term committed relationship.

A fascinating article on this can be found at THE POSITION.

It's nothing new, just that it's less common in modern society than it has been in the past. Chris and I find it invaluable to have our own spaces. We're private people who, at times, enjoy solitude not just from one another but from the world in general...

I got the hat, I got the hat!

*Trish dances the happy dance*

:)

Human rights, globally speaking:

Freedom House is a clear voice for democracy and freedom. IFEX - a good resource for information regarding freedom of expression.

Slavery still exists...

I admit it, I love animals...especially cats. If I was a cat, I think I might like this place, a home for "retiring" pets...

Thanks to an excellent hatmaker and acquaintance of mine, here is my next unnecessary expenditure...and yes, I will be wearing this in public sometime, somewhere:

"What society is slowly but surely accepting is that the worth of human beings neither begins nor ends with sexual orientation. Indeed, sexuality is only one factor in our magnificent complexity." - From article in my local paper today...

Photographic series of Islam in Southeast Asia...

Contraversial? Yes...But absoluately fascinating...

From Sex New Daily:

Chronicles of Consciousness / Religious blindness

Some of you may have read about a school fire in Mecca, Saudi Arabia last week in which 15 girls were killed. The tragedy was that none of them had to die, but Saudi Arabia's religious police -- the Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice -- prevented male firefighters and paramedics from entering the building because some of the girls were not wearing the appropriate long dresses and head coverings. That little piece of criminal idiocy prompted our old friend Larry K., to write --

"This reminds me so much of the attitude of Catholicism when I was growing up: you're better off dead than doing anything sexually 'impure.' I remember the story of St. Maria Goretti, who was stabbed to death by her boyfriend because she wouldn't have sex with him. It would have been great if she'd been lionized for resisting his attempt to exercise power over her through rape, but she was always described to us as being so wonderful because she resisted having sex out of wedlock. . . . The 'better dead than sexually impure' attitude."

I'm beginning to seriously wonder about the 'official' version of 9/11...actually, I had wondered about it before I saw this, but it is awfully strange, if you ask me...

Time is merciless. It never stops, it never looks back. The great men crumble, their temples are torn down, and it doesn’t matter whatsoever. Which lends each day a certain fragile beauty. Sic transit Gloria. (Your sister got nauseous on the bus.) Each day is a gift. A cliché, but true.

~ Garrison Keillor

[Solomon said basically the same thing - There is a time for everything...All is vanity...Nothing new under the sun...]

The German Titanic

---

It was the worst tragedy in maritime history, six times more deadly than the Titanic. When the German cruise ship Wilhelm Gustloff was hit by torpedoes fired from a Soviet submarine in the final winter of World War II, more than 10,000 people—mostly women, children and old people fleeing the final Red Army push into Nazi Germany—were packed aboard. The disaster, survived by only 1,200, was rarely mentioned for more than half a century. Since most Germans feared they would be accused of equating their losses with the horrors they inflicted on others, only the nationalist right spoke freely about what happened to the 13 million Germans brutally driven out of their homelands at the end of the war. Now Germany’s Nobel Prize-winning author Gunter Grass has resurrected the memory of the dead with his novel “Crab Walk,” published last month (and due out in English next year). His willingness to break the taboo against writing about what happened as WWII ended has had an electrifying effect: critics from left and right are praising his work.
The long silence about the sinking of the Wilhelm Gustloff and other tragedies of that period was probably unavoidable—and necessary. By owning up to their country’s role as the perpetrator of monstrous crimes, Germans have managed to win acceptance abroad, marginalize the neo-Nazis at home and make peace with their neighbors. But as Grass has shown, even the most politically correct Germans believe they’ve now earned the right to discuss the full historical record. Not to equate Germany’s suffering with that of its victims, but simply to acknowledge a terrible tragedy.
— Stefan Theil and Andrew Nagorski (Newsweek)

From my daughter Eva:

...although I may not always tell you, I respect how much you did for us, and admire the determination it must of took you to make it being a single Mom. I think I must get my determination from you. Most people ask me how I do school, children and be married; I just smile, and say that I look at the final goal of being graduated and completing something. And I am pretty much that way about most things I do, determined.

Another perspective on the Middle East...

[From The Wisdom Fund]

From today's issue of Consumer Health Digest:

"Miss Cleo" unmasked. Although the "telephone psychic" who calls herself "Miss Cleo" has claimed to be a Jamaican shaman, investigators for the Florida Attorney General have found that her birth certificate indicates that she was born Youree Dell Harris on Aug. 13, 1962, in Los Angeles County Hospital, to parents who were from California and Texas. Florida is one of many states that is suing her marketers for fraud, as is the FTC.

Tell me it ain't so, Miss Cleo!!

With some of the restrooms I've been in, in my life, I think I want this...

In today's Fargo Forum:

The PCCC, or PRIDE Collective & Community Center is a place, a group of people, and an organization, whose mission is to "...create a sense of community and promote education and social activities aimed at furthering the social, emotional, and physical well-being and development of the GLBT community in the Red River Valley..."


Ironically there are many groups serving many diverse communities where I live, and many feel in conflict with one another. I pray for the day when people 'see beyond' and work to serve one another rather than waste precious time and energy...

From a conversation with my daughter Eva today on Messenger:

Eva/Nirgaz says:
...We are thinking about maybe extending our vacation in Kurdistan, staying from sept/oct until the spring, and from there go to Hajj. We could then leave the kids with family there and pick them up after Hajj. It is just a thought, but it could be a very interesting experience.
Trish says:
The Hajj idea sounds neat - would it possible to stay that long with no problem from the government?
Eva/Nirgaz says:
ours or theirs?
Trish says:
Iraq's
Eva/Nirgaz says:
no, Kurdistan has autonomy and therefore it wouldn't be a problem as long as we were in the Northern Kurdish controlled part of Iraq
Trish says:
What kind of autonomy? I thought it wasn't a country as such, but a region like a state? Would Iraq's policities supercede a region usually? Evidently there have been concessions then by Iraq to the Kurds?
Eva/Nirgaz says:
They have control over a lot of things, it is similar to states in the U.S. they have certain laws only applicable to their region, yet they still have to abide by the laws of Iraq overall. Yet at the same time, they are not forced to speak Arabic or be taught in Arabic at the schools, although many do know and speak Arabic because it is useful to know.
Trish says:
so you would say things are improving for them despite Saddam still being in power?
Eva/Nirgaz says:
When Gullizar went to school it wasn't like that, she told me of manytimes when they got in trouble for speaking Kurdish or saying I am a kurd versus I am an Iraqi.
Eva/Nirgaz says:
yea, but it is slow going
Trish says:
why are things improving? Is it a direct result from pressures made by the Kurds themselves? (and if so, what were they?)
Trish says:
sorry to ask so much and making you type your little fingers to death...it's just that I'm surprised things are improving at all with Saddam still there...and I can't recall hearing anything about intense fighting over there at the moment, so why would he allow improvements since he was so mean before? *puzzled*
Eva/Nirgaz says:
I think it has a lot to do with the KDP, or Kurdish Democratic Party ttp://www.kdp.pp.se/ who have put pressure on the Iraqi government and also the fact that Saddam is now willing to let them control that area as long as they agree to acknowledge that it is Iraq and not a seperate country.

Blogdex is a...

"...system built to harness the power of personal news, amalgamating and organizing personal news content into one navigable source, moving democratic media to the masses."

I am registered with them. It's a study/experiment sponsored by MIT.

From a June 1, 2000 email from Mom...

I called Lenas sister in Jolliette, ND today as I could not get an answer at Lenas number. Mary said that Harold is in a nursing home as his kidneys had shut down and he has to have dialysis every day so Lena runs him to the hospital to have it done. Mary is just a couple years older than I am. She and I use to stay out in the country on the farm with John and Lena a long time ago when we were very young. We would have a lot of fun and brother John even made a swing for us. It seems like a century ago when I think of it. I sure miss my brother and I really loved him so much and as a little girl I idolized him. I would stand on the back of his chair at meal time and have my bottom against the window pane that was behind him. My Dad told me one day if I did not watch out I would break the window and low and behold one day I did. They did not have the easy life that people do today. No running water and no indoor plumbing either. When they first lived out there they did not have a car and would walk the 7 or 8 miles into town just to go to a dance. Can you imagine doing that as I sure can't? Poor Britton is sure having an awful time. Will have to write Betty a few lines tonite, also.

Love You Mother

I really loved your note, Mom. It's memories like that, that help bridge time and place for those of us who were not there, but want to know/understand. I would love to hear more about Uncle John. He has always been a rather enigmatic figure to me, looking like he probably had a lot going on in that head of his, when I look into old pictures and at his face. He struck me, as Grandpa did, as both very intelligent men...I wonder, what did John want to do with his life? What did did he read or think about? You idolized him, but what did he think of his little sister - were you a pest in his eyes? *smile* I think you should tell Eva about the breaking of the window story - it would tickle her, I think! She broke the glass on her dresser top that Aunt Pat gave her, so she should relate! *smile* I think there's something a bit impetious that runs through the family line in some of us, I think...or maybe better termed, independent or stubborn?!
You mention how Lena and John would walk several miles to a dance? I can imagine it, but it wouldn't be easy. But if you want to enjoy yourself and that's the only way, you'll do it...Chris and I know a couple here in Fargo/Moorhead, that until recently (when they finally got a car), they walked or biked everywhere, sometimes we're talking miles like that. Karen, the woman in the couple, I still see periodically walking about town...she enjoys it actually, and I can't say I blame her...there _is_ something nice about slowing down and walking and taking in the fresh air...

Trish

A great article on the intersection of sexuality and spirituality from a refreshing yet Christian perspective, by Jo Lind.

A quote from the article:

I THINK THE MOST useful guidance on sexual ethics can be found in St Matthew's Gospel where Jesus is asked: "Which is the greatest commandment of the Law?"

Jesus replies: "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second resembles it. You must love your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments hang the whole Law, and the Prophets also."

Surely that must be our starting point when it comes to thinking out how to live our sexualities well. If we take loving God, loving our neighbour and loving ourselves as the keystone of our sexual ethics, we will be better able to make love that is loving – and loving, in whatever way, is what God is all about.

Ship of Fools also offers a rant on how the organized Church (ecumenically-speaking here) has royally messed up on guiding and helping people on sexuality...

And last but not least, why IS it that faith, sex and laughter make such an unhappy ménage à trois?

A new documentary photojournalism site that features accompanying text as well as images, Foto8 is off to a fantastic start. I urge readers of this to take the time to read and experience the stories portrayed there...

From The Dispossessed, a documentary from the BBC's Correspondent series:

"If one American dies, the whole world hears about it. But Afghans are dying everyday and nobody pays any attention. Nobody asks who they are and how they are killed. Look at me; I've lost my wife and child and now live in dirt, and no one cares," Abdol Sattar said.

Spiffy.

Blogger is featured on TechTV!

"...It's your Annual Top O' The Morning Begorrah And Bejaysus Paddy's Day..."

A little snippet from one of my favorite newsletters - it always puts a big smile on my face with its angry Irish humour...You can check it out more at their website, p45.net; here's a wee bit of it below:


__________________________________T__H__E__________

_______________________________F__I__V__E___________

________________________O__C__L__O__C__K___________

________________________S__H__A__D__O__W___________



Location: Ireland, Planet Earth
Stardate: March 15th, 2002 (earth time)
Inhabitants: some indigenous species, Captain, but mostly Germanic and American tourists, all apparently carbon-based life forms. These mainly come in packages called "tour bus"
Vegetation: a Really Green Place (between large stretches of bog and landfill)
Technology: n/a (especially broadband)
Colour of beverages: All green!!!

Yep! It's your Annual Top O' The Morning Begorrah And Bejaysus Paddy's Day Weekend Shadow!

THE FIVE O'CLOCK SHADOW is a superhero in this very tight but fetching leprechaun costume and bright orange wig who gathers up the green-coloured leftovers still floating around P45's emerald green HQ and delivers it all straight to over 22,000 readers just before hitting town for the long Paddy's Day weekend, and the one day of the year when the 0.2% of the world's population that's actually vaguely Irish gets the other 99.8% completely rat-arsed. ...


__________________________________b_a_r_o_m_e_t_e_r


It's the week in 45 seconds...

What's UP this week:

*** Soda bread. It's part of what we are.

*** Breakfast paninis! They're not Irish really, but they're the new rock 'n' roll.

*** Public holidays! We needed the break.

What's DOWN this week:

Hold on a sec. Yeah, so it's a public holiday. Finally. Big bleddy deal - isn't it 75 days after the last one they gave us? A total of 6.48 million seconds of muck and misery ago? And it's windy and pissing down and freezin' and we get just eight hours off, after having had to work like the clappers on the Friday just "to catch up"? And we're supposed to feel happy? And grateful?

Here's some of our other pet hates that P45ers want to throw into "Room 101", besides Saint Bleddy Patrick and pompom cheerleaders and those big papier-mache heads that people walk around town wearing and saying "it's a mordeegraw [mardi gras] atmosphere man":

This weekend is St. Patrick's Day. Christopher and I are thinking about attending some of the events. O'Leary's Pub is having music sessions throughout the weekend. Another downtown Fargo club is having more Irish music, step dancers, and harpists.

I sent this Irish e-card to Chris...The inscription portion is below...

To Christopher

A gra mo chroi
(Oh love of my heart)

This Irish lass is blessed by your love

Giorraionn beirt Bothar
(Two shorten the road...)

From Patricia

Today would have been Dad's 83rd birthday. Hard to believe he's gone. Hard to believe he ever got that old. He always will be younger to me.

In appreciation, I sent this to the Fargo Forum today

---

Dear Letters to the Editor:

I'd like to publically thank the Clay County Attorney office's Crime Victims Advocacy Program for the assistance they gave me recently, as well as the Clay County Child Support program the past 15 years I've worked with them.

Both offices have been invaluable to obtaining the recent ruling in my childrens' favor after 15 long years of seeking justice on this matter.

There have been moments of frustration on many levels these past 15 years, including sometimes when I've been working with Clay County and the state of Minnesota; but most of the time we've made a good team. I have seen progress being made on accomplishing collections in general, and it's been encouraging.

The most important thing to remember as the custodial parent in these situations, I have found through experience, is to be persistent AND consistent. If you aren't, you won't make progress for yourself, your children, or the county/state. All parties in my own endeavor have been persistent and consistent. That's the key.

The office personnel were gracious and a pleasure to work with. I appreciate all the services, and am especially glad the advocacy program exists.

Trish Lewis
Moorhead, MN

BE PROUD OF YOUR HEJAB!


By Parvin Shirazi
March 13, 2002
The Iranian


You look at me and call me oppressed,

Simply because of the way I'm dressed,

You know me not for what's inside,

You judge the clothing I wear with pride,

My body's not for your eyes to hold,

You must speak to my mind,

not my feminine mold,

I'm an individual, I'm no man's slave,

It's Allah's pleasure that I only crave,

I have a voice so I will be heard,

For in my heart I carry His word,

"O ye women, wrap close your cloak,

So you won't be bothered by ignorant folk",

Man doesn't tell me to dress this way,

It's a Law from God that I obey,

Oppressed is something I'm truly NOT,

For liberation is what I've got,

It was given to me many years ago,

With the right to prosper, the right to grow,

I can climb moutains or cross the seas,

Expand my mind in all degrees,

For God Himself gave us LIB-ER-TY,

When He sent Islam,

To You and Me!

There's rising concern about privacy due to technology the FBI is currently employing. The FBI says, of course, that they will only use it for legitimate purposes. Unless there is independent oversight and accountability, there is no way to verify that. Hence the concern.

Read more about it at Federal Computer Week...

An interesting article on the choice our world faces: Learning to get along, or self-imploding. Some of the hot spots around the world show hope. Take a look at this group, "...a group of Palestinians and Israelis have now formed a peace movement..."

My boyfriend Christopher has been an life model for artists. Such models have only recently gotten the respect and pay they deserve for the arduous work it is to do such modeling...

Some of what I've written to my sisters lately...

I am lucky that I have been able to make time to write more in the last few years. The more I do it, the more I want to, and the more I actually DO it. It's a blessing to me...I hope some of it can be a blessing to others. I look forward to reading your thoughts...

Regarding Mom's image on the OurMother website...

When I took the photograph in July, I wanted to show her in a natural state; I wanted Mom to be just 'her', not pasting a smile on. It also captures her inner self right now. I took that after Dad's first heart attack, but after he came home. The next week he went into the hospital again, and never came back. I think it's very appropriate for the site. It shows her bewilderment, pain, confusion...it's touching to me...It's what I based "Changes" on...

T.

I left work after lunch to attend my ex-husband's sentencing hearing. After 15 years, he was finally being held fully accountable for his actions.

In court, a brief overview of his behavior (avoidance, irresponsibility). The judge and the county attorney both emphasized that the amount owed in back child support (over $91,700) was far above average. They made a special point of how this was an extraordinary case.

At one point, the court had me read my impact statement. A letter form Eva was presented, where she stated her opinions, and explained that only in the past year was there a chance to start rebuilding a relationship with her father, for which she has been very grateful. Later, Tom himself stood up to address the court. While he admitted his guilt, he still showed he had some anger left from 15 years ago. None of what he said was outright false, but he characterized some parts of the truth in such a way as to portray them incompletely, thus leaving room for those listening to possibly sympathize with him. In the end, he stated he was wrong, and he wanted to make things right.

To that end, his attorney presented the court with evidence of Tom's submitting a payment for February just today, with a promise to pay monthly thereafter, a set amount. The court agreed but stipulated that it be court-ordered, and also subject to change if his income increased. The Judge also ordered that his bail be relinquished and used to pay restitution upon the owed support. In plain English, that means it will eventually go to me on behalf of the children. I intend to share all funds received with both Eva and Daniel.

Tom will serve 24 months in jail, on work-release so he can continue to earn money to pay the support while incarcerated. He's living in Pennsylvania with his parents. The court gave the choice of serving the time in Minnesota or Pennsylvania. Due to his situation and where his job is located, I assume it will be in Pennsylvania.

Upon exiting the courtroom, I was approached by Dave Olson of the Fargo Forum for my reaction to the proceedings. Dave asked how I felt about the outcome, etc. If I remember correctly, Dave told me a few weeks ago, before running the series on child support at that time, that he would be doing some followup articles later.

How do I feel about all this? I am very pleased that my vigilence paid off, that my cooperation with the authorities came to a positive conclusion. I am glad I handled things in a dignified manner, and can look my children in the face and know I did everything I could, and I did it the best way I could. I'm also glad that Eva is building (I say building, because there really wasn't one there to begin with) a relationship with her Dad. I know she wanted to have one, missed him, loved him, was very sad about him. She needs to heal. Tom needs to heal. I hope he takes this time in his life as a gift, and never forgets what he could still lose, letting go of the past, and moves on. I also pray that Daniel will someday find in his heart the way to reach out to his father...

I wrote to my friend Peter in Edinburgh to ask:

I keep hearing about Scottish separatists, and 'devolution' - what is that?? I assume separatists aren't necessarily SNP, especially the ones that they attribute terrorist activities to. Are things 'warming up' over there for serious battles on the independence?

Separatists is a pejorative term used by the opponents of an independent Scotland, such as the Labour Party. Devolution is what we have in Scotland with the parliament in Edinburgh. This is where certain powers are devolved from the UK parliament in London and 'given' to the Edinburgh parliament. The main powers such as defence, foreign affairs, finance, etc. being retained by the UK parliament. Hopefully this will be but a stepping stone to independence but the object of the 'devolvers' being to give a little power in the hope that the Scottish people will be satisfied with that.

The Scottish Separatist Group are unknown in Scottish politics. Isabel thinks they are part of a ploy by the Labour Party in opposition to the independence movement. The Scottish National Liberation Army are violent group given to sending people letter bombs and blowing things up.

May next year is the election to the Scottish Parliament and we are busy right now selecting candidates. It will be a hard fought contest with the SNP the main opposition party in the present parliament with Labour having to form a coalition with the Liberals to form an administration. Far from calming down the mood for independence among the Scottish people it has whetted their appetite!

Peter and his wife Isabel are ardent supporters and members of the SNP, and work tirelessly via the system to elect SNP candidates and work towards the day of full Scottish independence...

It's Women's History month. I nominate Ida Craddock.

I had never heard of Ida Craddock until recently. After reading a synoptic biography about her, I was impressed with her strength of character.

She was a pioneer. She stood up to ignorance and hypocrisy because she knew that people needed to know a truth that was being kept from them - truth about their own bodies that affected the very core of who they are, and their relationships to others.

Daniel (my 19-year old son) came to me today.

"Mom, how does a person find out about Buddhism?"

I told him there were books he could read. He interrupted to say that he had already been doing that. "I borrowed a book of yours on Buddhism..."

I said, that's OK...I thought for a moment and then told him that I wasn't sure if there were any formal gatherings or temples in our area. I told him he could talk with Chris about ideas, since I know Chris is probably in touch with that kind of information due to his association with the Spirit Room.

Daniel then explained to me that what he had read so far spoke to him. "They say what I feel but can't put into words..." I smiled at him, and said that I had a book called the Tao Te Ching.

"What's that?" he asked. I explained that it is a collection of Taoist scripture first collected by Liu Xiujing. Some of the elements of Taoism is related to Buddhism, although it goes beyond Buddhism.

He took the book to explore more. I also gave him Bruce Lee's writings, recently collected and published in a book called Striking Thoughts.

After Daniel left to visit friends, I again smiled to myself. My children are both such unique and special people. They have each been strong-willed individuals in their own ways. Each have chosen paths I would not have guessed. Both are searchers, full of wonder and imagination. I am very blessed...

A film I found fascinating, moving, and thought-provoking is Closetland. It's a two-character psychological study of denied human rights, of torture by the state, and of one person's dignity standing up to another's brutal assault.

While it is a month where some of us take special rememberance of women before us and what they endured, accomplished, etc., let us not forget that there are many reasons for disadvantage and hate in our world. Let's all work and pray for the day when there are less labels, and more love...

March is Women's History Month, and today March 8th in particular, is International Women's Day.

It's a time to celebrate women, but also to remember the problems that still need addressing.

In that regard, I hope you'll take the time to read the UN's Joint Declaration of the Special Rapporteurs on Women’s Rights.

I ran across an article today on Wolfgang von Kempelen. WVK created a so-called "mechanical chess player", or automaton, way back in 1769. It created quite a stir as it toured Europe. Some say it was instrumental in inspiring our own computer age, and that are parallels in how it was percieved, and the concerns that arose because of it. There is a definite chain of events you can trace through it - Charles Babbage, for instance, who once saw the automaton, later drew up his Difference Engine.

Of course, it turned out the be a very clever and convincing illusion. Still, the unusual is often the inspiration of creativity...

A site I've found helpful in sorting out the fact from fiction on healthcare is QuackWatch.

Today they published their reaction to the findings recently released of the White House Commission on Complimentary and Alternative Medicine's draft report.

I met a friend for lunch. We talked about her 'Urban Legends' class she's taking, then I asked her about how things are at the library where she works. She said that they're getting a Gates Foundation grant for a computer center upstairs (a mixed blessing...they get tons of free hardware/software and a few days training, but then very little tech support from the city's IT department). They had a new (private) management company come in since the director scandals. The new manager has had all books not checked out within last 2 years given away or THROWN away. My friend is not very happy with that...she had a lot to say about criterias, including in-house reference that are never checked out but used a LOT that almost got thrown... And no, the public is NOT aware of this. I asked her if I could write a letter to the local newspaper not naming names, but she said I better not because she's one of the few who voices concern and I said I understand. The manager also feels they should buy what people want; maybe I should put that to the test and ask for more erotica...heh...

Response from Bruce Sterling on my reaction to his narrow definition of what blogs are about:

*What's a cool goth chick like you doing in a dot-gov site [NOTE: I emailed him from work...]

> P.S.: My mind boggles at the volume of your writing output. My hats are off to you, Sir...

*I'm not that voluminous, I'm just all wrinkled and old

bruces

In his March 2002 column Digital Renaissance, Henry Jenkins comments on blogs:

Blogs are thus more dynamic than older-style home pages, more permanent than posts to a Net discussion list. They are more private and personal than traditional journalism, more public than diaries.

He goes on to say:

It may seem strange to imagine the blogging community as a force that will shape the information environment almost as powerfully as corporate media. We learn in the history books about Samuel Morse’s invention of the telegraph but not about the thousands of operators who shaped the circulation of messages, about Thomas Paine’s Common Sense but less about the “committees of correspondence” through which citizens copied and redistributed letters across the colonies, about the publication of Harriet Beecher Stowe’s abolitionist blockbuster Uncle Tom’s Cabin but not about the teenagers who used toy printing presses to publish nationally circulated newsletters debating the pros and cons of slavery. In practice, the evolution of most media has been shaped through the interactions between the distributed power of grass-roots participatory media and the concentrated power of corporate/governmental media.

I sent another note to Sarvenaz recently; it was published this week in Iranian.com's letters section:

I just finished reading your "Sad almond eyes". I really must say I love your writing. I enjoy first person for one thing, and you have a way with phrases ("women have a weakness for sad men", "I opened my eyes and melted in his...")

I identify with your take on life even though my experiences are from a different culture; it just proves that people are people, despite the trappings of time, place, etc...

Sarvenaz has just come out with a new chapter in her diaries, called EARLY DAWN IN LAVASSAN...

From Bruce Sterling, regarding blogging:

You may have never heard of "weblogging," because it never yet made anyone rich, but blogging is a way cool deal, man. Metafilter, Memepool, Boingboing.net, I'm on those blogs all the time. Blogdex, Daypop, those sites rock...If this recital means nothing to you, you are probably old and near death now.

Unlike those stellar bloggers, I was way too lazy to build any software, but I myself have a blog these days. This is a sure symptom of a major social contagion. It's much like my teenage daughter's AOL Instant Message mania. Her Mom and I, we were kinda worried about her 90% digital social life, until we realized that we don't have to buy her a car or any gasoline.

Net types like to catfight about whether blogging is the Way Forward or utter self-indulgence. Since it is almost certainly both at once, blogging is quite the hot topic. So there will be some bloggery debate, with scowling, and finger-wagging, and pepper-gassing. Yes, blogging has its limitations. There isn't much in the way of original content*, for instance. Weblogging consists mostly of logging one's websurfing activities, then making sardonic comments about whatever you see. An activity one's admirers find hilarious. Yet admirers rarely pay for this. Except in their admiration.

*Normally, I wouldn't quibble with Bruce, him being such an intelligent, witty man, but in this case, I must. I am one of the 'bloggers' he talks about, and speaking only for myself here, my blog does NOT consist mainly of my surfing. I refer to a sites here and there, but the majority of what I do here is self-reflecting autobiography with occasional fits of whimsy (...or is that 'flights of fancy'? Hmmmm...I can never remember which...)

Last Thursday were the closing arguments for Mom's Medicaid denial hearing. I wrote these thoughts after getting off of the phone call...

I just got off the telephone with the Administrative Law Judge, and the attorney representing the State of North Dakota. We had a continued hearing for closing arguments after adjourned January 11th for submission of additional records by me on behalf of Mom. They received them on January 29th.

It was a rough half hour on the phone. The attorney for ND is tough and doesn't give an inch. I don't either, although I wasn't quite as polished as she is...but at the main hearing the ALJ complimented me on my presentation so I must not do too bad...another attendant at the hearing, an expert witness for ND, said I sounded like I was an attorney. It's just a matter of preparation, really...and Irish gift for gab!

That being said, things don't look promising for Mom having it turning to her favor. The ALJ was very sympathetic to Mom's situation and I can tell he would _like_ to approve Medicaid for Mom's closed period, but I don't think the statues will allow him to. They're very specific, and I don't think they were met. Despite Mom having definite depression diagnosed, and even dementia alluded to, depression isn't a valid basis for skilled care, even for a limited period. Depression should be handled in a
psychiatric facility, not a nursing home. Since the dementia was never definitively diagnosed, it probably will not be able to be considered either. ND guidelines state that it must be physician-diagnosed severe dementia for 6 months or longer, to be eligible for Medicaid coverage...

The ALJ will issue a recommended decision that goes to another component that issues the final decision. Judge Holberg expects we'll see his recommended decision by March 15th.

A note I sent today:

I just wanted to say I'm sorry I wasn't more sociable at the art show, or even the next day when I saw you with Chris. Sometimes I get like that, not even realizing I'm being rather anti-social. Just how I am in person. I can be eloquent in writing, but 'I vant to be alone' in person at times.

On Saturday, I had just come from helping my elderly mother, had a errand list a mile long to do, and ended up probably sounding offish or even rude. I wanted you to know I did not mean to convey that, and it's always nice to see you...*smile*

I'm not always the most diplomatic of persons, being the straightforward and blunt type, and have to do damage control after the fact. Sometimes I don't, though. I don't feel I owe an explanation to everyone about who I am. This time, however, I felt a bit bad because the person involved was not only a friend of a friend, but someone who I appreciated in my own way and rarely have the opportunity to meet in person. Sometimes a person gets so wrapped up in their 'life' you forget what's really important...